It's scary how the older you get the faster time goes by. I remember my parents used to tell me that ''your school and college years are the best years of you life, don't forget that'' and I would tell them that their wrong, that I couldn't wait to leave, but now I'm creeping into my last year at college, it's hit me hard, how time has gone so quickly and the past 6 years of my life have flown by. I'm about to start my final year at college, and I've had to plan for the future, plan my gap year, my adventures, what university I want to go to, what subject I want to study further and what career I want and wish to do for the rest of my life.. and it's all getting too much for me. It's a lot for a 17 year old girl to think about right now. I'm not good at making decisions, I never have been, I've always been flakey and indecisive when it comes to making important decisions.
I've always been the one to follow the crowd, or be known as a 'sheep', someone who just follows the pack and never leads their own path. I think this is because I lack a lot of confidence in myself, as person and I am very critical of myself.
I hope I'm not the only person that feels this way, that society puts a lot of pressure on us young adults at such a young age with weighing decisions, that can set our future in stone. I hope to come out of this a much stronger person than I am, someone who is more confident in themselves and succeed whatever I do with what I've got. I'm tired of putting myself down all the time, worrying about the past, worrying about what I've missed out on and what I should of done back then but can't do anything about it now.
I wish I listened to my folks when I was younger and grasped every chance I had and made the most out of my childhood, because from where I'm standing, my childhood is gone, it's over, I'm moving into the next chapter in my life.. adulthood. I's scary, it's big, it's daunting and I don't know if I'm ready, but, I'll never know if I never try and now is a good time to find out as any.
Wish me lucky, I'm gonna need it, a 17 anxiety sufferer headed into the adult world, oh boy.
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